Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I Wonder . . . .

Sometimes I wonder . . are relations really meant for eternity ??? Am I really honest to my own emotions??? Which are my true emotions – the resentment i feel for my friend of 8 years even if she does something for good or the affection i had felt for her long ago even after she had hurt me with all her might.

Sometimes I do wonder . . can girls really make good friends ?? even after spending 8years together since the first day of college, I feel a stranger sharing my room, my bathroom, my clothes and even my bed. She is my room-mate for sharing my room, but she is a complete stranger for sharing my feelings.
In contrast I talk to a colleague in the office, we have known each other since just 2 months officially, but while chatting at the lunch table and making fun of each other, I feel we have known each other since ages.

I wonder . . is this going to last longer or is it just a fluke !!! Am I being honest to my feelings or am I searching for a solace or an assurance for my way of thinking. Is it real or is it virtual ??

At home, I fear to ask simple questions about food, laundry, her voice on the phone or the volume of the TV and I avoid discussion on subject even slightly important than electricity bills, paper bills and house rent while at office I can whole heartedly pass personal comments without being misunderstood or feeling guilty about it.
I wonder . . How do I evaluate this change, this contrast ?? How do relations take such a 180 degrees shift if they are meant for eternity ?? Am I responsible of the shift or am I just a pawn ?? Why do relations grow so deep if they have to go through such unexpected twists and turns ???

I wonder . . what should I take to the deeper parts of my memory - the fun and love we shared which now seems like a distant past or the present resentment, hatred or the indifference ???

I Wonder . . .
I really do wonder . . . !!!


  1. Relationship does not depends on how long we are together and how close we are with each other it completely depends how easy v r with each other, u need not have to make urslf nythng else dan "u" for a true frnd, bt 4 our so called couleges nd rumies there r some obstcle like lfstyle,status,ego,mny which does not leave ourself the same as we were, so we cannt frc ny1 to be constnt,loving,caring nd shring as we r also part of this variant world.
    Sometimes we share the things with the stranges easily dan our old frnds de rzn might be, da instances in our life wher v r misundrstd by our oldies nd nw we dnt wanna share these things wid dem.so not alwz we r wrng bt smtimes r frndz r also right....

  2. Thanks Tab !!!
    Such a wonderful reply :-)

  3. sometimes we are so close to someone
    that they know us too deeply,
    so deep that they know all our weakness and fears..
    and then try to protect us lest we fall in trap,
    forgetting we all need to discover the world ourselves..travel the road alone and crave our own path and find our own destinations..

    sharing the space sometimes takes away the emotional space that we all require, the constant scrutiny, opinion for everything starts affecting our relationship and makes us distant.

    its better to pour ur heart our, cry out the deepest fear, clean ur soul in front of each other.. after that atleast u know that u tried ur best!

    take care..