Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A conversation through mail. . . .

Hi A,
Hope you are enjoying at home . . rather i am sure of it.

U know i get used to certain things quite fast.
Last week we were communicating every day . . and now this week i am already feeling something amiss. !!!
But thats how i am . . nevermind.

This week has been really really hectic for me. the projects cutover activity has started and we are working almost 12 hours a day since last saturday.
It is getting even worse as we are approaching the deadline. This is first time that i am feeling so much worn out, i no more feel like working with interest.

U know sometimes, u get a feeling that u are the biggest dumb on the earth. That u dont know or cant do even the simplest thing required out of ur job. And however hard you try, you dont get any head start. U feel tired, bored, defeated and over all . . lonely. !!
ALl the knowledge and your experience seem to have evaporated from your mind never to come back and you are in the middle of commotion where seniors, PMs, TLs and colleagues are all preparing to cut your head off. What you have is a constant buzzing in your head which never stops. . not even in your sleep.

I dont know what to do now as the simplest of the solutions dont seem to work. But this is how life is supposed to work i guess.
You know i am awake since 4 in the morning and came in the office at 7. I never thought i would be coming to the office in the early hours of a cold winter morning. . . .
And i dont know why did i feel like writing all this to you and that too when i know u wont be replying soon. But some where some times you need an outlet to let it all flush out of your mind. And may be somewhere you would have also gone through this.

May be when you read this, i would be much stable or in better control of my confusions. But right now at least i am relieved to have let out of my feelings once.
I am really a mad to write this. . please dont be angry.
I dont even know whether this level of personal mail is even allowed or is acceptable on @lntinfotech.com or @infosys.com.
But anyways i am happy that i could collect my thoughts in this mail.

Eager to get back in touch with you.
:))))

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Hi J,

Nice and well drafted mail, I must say.
I like the way you wrote… it was completely filled with negative approach initially and then slowly turning positive… that’s the best part of it…

Sometime you feel you are dumb then you are learning new things… and that is the time work with your peers,sub-ordinates, gurus as if you are the disciple and taking whatever they offer… and it is matter of time.. always,
Sometime if it is turning worse… don’t put some more mess… keep your calm and kool and after few minutes, hours, days it should be in your favor again and back to normal…

Don’t expect any help from others.. believe in yourself and success is yours…

Sometime when smart working doesn’t go well then you need to work harder… and so coming at 7 is good… and while coming early I know you will feel bored but take the positive side of it and while driving your bike let the cold breeze touch your face… feel that… that will give you the soothing and charming touch that you needed… and you will forget all the sorrows…
tough this seems to be hypothetical but still sometime it works J

Lastly it is always good to vent out the despair and don’t worry while doing so… if you are feeling very low spend time with some of your frnds and it should be fine…

And most important thing is “work is part of life and life is not part of work, so learn to live and it will automate work”

Be good. Be happy.

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